pure, 100% smutty stuff. tell me which chara you want, refer to the wishlist if you have any questions about what kind of starter you wanna write/pictures you post/ships you wanna do.
[ kuroo's whining has become as commonplace and manageable as any whining or bickering from his own teammates. constant communication has left daichi familiar with the jokes kuroo tends to make or the way he curves around conversation to his favor. daichi rolls his eyes at easily recognizable bait, snorting behind the aluminum. ]
We could be comrades, if you spent an extra fifty yen a can so we could drink something vaguely less piss tasting.
[ bantering like this is too easy, too much fun, god, why didn't they hang out sooner again? or right, school and volleyball. the usual suspects.
he isn't surprised at kuroo stealing the can back, but his surprised when kuroo drinks right from the can after him. daichi's eyes go wide in realization that stealing his can and drinking from it was actually a way bigger mistake than anticipated.
no time for lingering over it, slowing down now is only going to make it worse. ]
You want better beer? You pay for it. My budget's very strict, I'll have you know. If you overspend my money you'll have to answer to my spreadsheets.
( just kidding - Kuroo's budgeting skills consist of looking at his wallet and trying not to cry. it's a talent and he's proud of it.
Sawamura's remarks cut him to the quick; he demonstrates this by gasping, hand over his heart. ) So cruel! Ah, but you didn't even notice until I said anything, which only proves that my spit is neutral at worst and delightful at best.
( discussing characteristics of spit is probably one of Kuroo's smoother moves, and that's just sad. )
Right, you have a strict spreadsheet managed budget, and I'm secretly the emperor.
[ daichi even makes a sweeping hand gesture to emphasize the point. seriously kuroo, even for being drunk that was still a pretty poor attempt. but then again, his own responses are getting slower, they really should stop drinking before this gets worse.
it doesn't help that after all those beers it's getting harder and harder to not openly laugh at kuroo and his shit. ]
What the hell are you talking about? That beer was way worse, doesn't that make your spit super nasty?
Your highness, I had no idea! ( Kuroo attempts a bow but gives up when he almost falls into Sawamura's lap. he starts to giggle, jamming his hand against his mouth to try and stem it. ) For such a regular guy you sure have some impressive secrets.
( he manages to stop laughing - barely, and lounges back at an angle that doesn't make his head spin quite so much. he should really have some water or something, he thinks, and takes another swig instead. close enough. )
What brings you from your lofty throne, ( a grandiose wave, ) to slum amongst us common folk? Did you feel the need for nasty beer and nastier body fluids?
What?? [ as much as he doesn't want to, daichi starts laughing in disbelief that kuroo is going along with such an idiotic claim. but then again, of course he is, that's just what kuroo does, that incredible six foot nerd.
daichi helps kuroo sit back up, shaking his head and giving the most overdramatic sigh he can muster. ]
Oh, it was always my dream to go to a normal high school with normal little country boys, raise a volleyball team from practically scratch, but I just loved it so much I had to keep going with it through university.
[ daichi doesn't keep a straight face through any of that, but kuroo is right there, warm and too funny, and so daichi just... goes with it. it's too easy, it always is, whenever kuroo is spurring him on. ]
Beer and body fluids are just, par for the course.
Little country boys, huh? That's disturbing, Sawamura. ( he shakes his head in clear disappointment. ) At least that means I'm safe from your dastardly clutches.
( not that he necessarily wants to be, but does he want to be involved with some hick-fetish pedo?? probably not. can't trust these Karasuno guys. )
Spare me your sick tales, please. I'm not into that kind of thing.
Oh my god, only you would think about that you perv. [ daichi smacks his shoulder, totally a thing friends do. just friends. friends who lean all over each other when they get drunk. yeah. ]
How do I know you're not the one lechering around?
If I was leching, you'd know. For example, my eyebrows would probably be waggling suggestively, ( like this, ) and I'd be doing a way better job of getting your pants off.
( possibly by spilling beer on them, like thi-- ok no, he's not that desperate. yet.
Kuroo lounges back with a shit-eating grin and nudges him with his knee. ) Any signals I'm missing?
[ despite his best effort to keep a straight face, his face falls into a disbelieving half smile, something that almost might be hopeful. he hadn't really thought about doing anything with kuroo-- no, that's not true, it's more like he cuts those fantasies off before they can get bad.
still though, this little rant begs a lot of questions, and daichi wants to ask them before they do anything that they are really, really going to regret come the morning. daichi doesn't leave until tomorrow night after all, and he'd rather not move that up. ]
Why don't you backtrack to the part where you admitted you invited me down here to get my pants off.
( Kuroo actually panics for second, replaying the last few minutes of conversation in his head. this is tricky, because he's well buzzed by now and that makes concentration very difficult, but he's still pretty sure that Sawamura is making shit up. )
I-- when did I say anything of the kind?! ( although, on the other hand-- ) Is that your wishful thinking speaking, Sawamura-kun?
( if so: fuckin' jackpot. Kenma wil never believe he pulled this off. )
[ if he were a kinder person, daichi would write off the momentary confusion and the hesitation all over kuroo's face as a side effect of all that beer. too bad daichi has no mercy at all, especially because of the beer. ]
I think you're the only one wishful thinking, otherwise you wouldn't've brought up getting into my pants at all, Kuroo-kun.
[ daichi easily matches kuroo's obnoxious fucking tone, dying to see how flustered kuroo can get. ]
(tch. he should've known Sawamura'd have a comeback at the ready.
Kuroo assumes his loftiest expression. )
It was an example of common lecherousnesses, Sawamura, an example. Or is showing a bit of ankle still considered flirting where you're from? ( his smirk widens, snide. ) If so, what should I make of you always turning up in shorts? What a harlot.
[ daichi holds the deadest stare, raising his eyebrow at kuroo. it's a pretty good try, but not ine daichi can't handle. ]
So do you, hell, you don't even wear kneepads. Bringing up all this lecher talk that makes you like... [ he airly waves a hand, trying to grasp the right word. ] the biggest harlot.
( kneepads? is this some kind of weird fetish, Sawamura-- because he can accommodate that.
he carefully catches Daichi's hand before it can smack him in the face, and that's gonna be his firm excuse about why he's holding it. )
Wow, so eloquent. You're almost as smart as me when you're drunk, huh? ( Kuroo snickers, and never mind that he's poking fun at himself here, too. ) Of course I'm a giant harlot. This is the big city; that's what it's for.
( what hand. just forget it exists, Sawamura, and we never have to admit this ever happened. it's a win-win!
Kuroo presses his free hand over his heart and attempts to reel. it's slightly offset by the fact that he does actually start to fall and has to use his grip on this mysterious hand to right himself. what a suave guy. )
I'm so hurt! If I knew you were going to be hell-bent on breaking my heart, I would never've invited you down, you know. ( the jackal grin returns. ) Ahh-- but you'll be living here soon enough, won't you? Best get used to it sooner than later, Sawamura. You're already halfway to trollop-dom.
At least give corruption a try before you run away from it. Where's the harm in that~?
( yeah this is totally a conversation about tertiary education and not about dudes holding hands on couches, drunk, and badly attempting to flirt. at all. )
( oh, Sawamura, you sweet summer child, Kuroo thinks. and then, because he's more than a little tipsy, he actually says it out loud. )
Oh, Sawamura, you sweet summer child, ( he uses Daichi's own hand to pretend to wipe away these fake tears, ) don't you know how the rest of the saying goes??
( --actually, how does it go?? ah, that's right. Kuroo leans in, grinning. there are crocodiles who would be jealous of this expression. )
Excuse me?! [ who calls anyone a sweet summer child anymore, oh my god. daichi just gives kuroo a disbelieving look.
it would be too easy to lose that look too, especially when kuroo leans in so close, grinning like he does, but daichi holds his ground. he's stared down worse.
(though to be fair, none of those things made his heart pound like this.) ]
[ at least then this situation would be more clear!! cause kuroo right now looks about as innocent as a cat who just threw up on his owner's pillow. it sets daichi on edge, not sure what to make of .... everything, especially after a few drinks. ]
( Kuroo wants to wince. there's a time and place for simple honesty, and he'd rather it not come up when he's trying to keep his heart off his sleeve.
well, if you can't kill a spike, you deflect it instead. that's how defence works - layers, complementing layers that keep the ball in play so it doesn't fall on your side of the court. he leans back; his fingers tug slightly where they're tangled with Sawamura's, ready to sweep up or give way at need. )
[ daichi wants to snap back i didn't start anything, but he snaps his mouth shut. he keeps his hand in kuroo's. there's a time and place for defense, but attacking is the only way to win. if he doesn't push forward, he'll never see where this trail ends. ]
And you're the one who kept it going instead of letting it drop.
[ he searches kuroo's face for something to give him a hint, trying to figure the best place to push through. ]
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who says we still can't go there babe
We could be comrades, if you spent an extra fifty yen a can so we could drink something vaguely less piss tasting.
[ bantering like this is too easy, too much fun, god, why didn't they hang out sooner again? or right, school and volleyball. the usual suspects.
he isn't surprised at kuroo stealing the can back, but his surprised when kuroo drinks right from the can after him. daichi's eyes go wide in realization that stealing his can and drinking from it was actually a way bigger mistake than anticipated.
no time for lingering over it, slowing down now is only going to make it worse. ]
You spit in that?! No wonder it tastes so bad.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PEhMC8ID62A
( just kidding - Kuroo's budgeting skills consist of looking at his wallet and trying not to cry. it's a talent and he's proud of it.
Sawamura's remarks cut him to the quick; he demonstrates this by gasping, hand over his heart. ) So cruel! Ah, but you didn't even notice until I said anything, which only proves that my spit is neutral at worst and delightful at best.
( discussing characteristics of spit is probably one of Kuroo's smoother moves, and that's just sad. )
i may have shed a tear
[ daichi even makes a sweeping hand gesture to emphasize the point. seriously kuroo, even for being drunk that was still a pretty poor attempt. but then again, his own responses are getting slower, they really should stop drinking before this gets worse.
it doesn't help that after all those beers it's getting harder and harder to not openly laugh at kuroo and his shit. ]
What the hell are you talking about? That beer was way worse, doesn't that make your spit super nasty?
[ such sexy foreplay ]
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( he manages to stop laughing - barely, and lounges back at an angle that doesn't make his head spin quite so much. he should really have some water or something, he thinks, and takes another swig instead. close enough. )
What brings you from your lofty throne, ( a grandiose wave, ) to slum amongst us common folk? Did you feel the need for nasty beer and nastier body fluids?
( he doesn't mean it like that )
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daichi helps kuroo sit back up, shaking his head and giving the most overdramatic sigh he can muster. ]
Oh, it was always my dream to go to a normal high school with normal little country boys, raise a volleyball team from practically scratch, but I just loved it so much I had to keep going with it through university.
[ daichi doesn't keep a straight face through any of that, but kuroo is right there, warm and too funny, and so daichi just... goes with it. it's too easy, it always is, whenever kuroo is spurring him on. ]
Beer and body fluids are just, par for the course.
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( not that he necessarily wants to be, but does he want to be involved with some hick-fetish pedo?? probably not. can't trust these Karasuno guys. )
Spare me your sick tales, please. I'm not into that kind of thing.
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How do I know you're not the one lechering around?
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( possibly by spilling beer on them, like thi-- ok no, he's not that desperate. yet.
Kuroo lounges back with a shit-eating grin and nudges him with his knee. ) Any signals I'm missing?
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still though, this little rant begs a lot of questions, and daichi wants to ask them before they do anything that they are really, really going to regret come the morning. daichi doesn't leave until tomorrow night after all, and he'd rather not move that up. ]
Why don't you backtrack to the part where you admitted you invited me down here to get my pants off.
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I-- when did I say anything of the kind?! ( although, on the other hand-- ) Is that your wishful thinking speaking, Sawamura-kun?
( if so: fuckin' jackpot. Kenma wil never believe he pulled this off. )
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I think you're the only one wishful thinking, otherwise you wouldn't've brought up getting into my pants at all, Kuroo-kun.
[ daichi easily matches kuroo's obnoxious fucking tone, dying to see how flustered kuroo can get. ]
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Kuroo assumes his loftiest expression. )
It was an example of common lecherousnesses, Sawamura, an example. Or is showing a bit of ankle still considered flirting where you're from? ( his smirk widens, snide. ) If so, what should I make of you always turning up in shorts? What a harlot.
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So do you, hell, you don't even wear kneepads. Bringing up all this lecher talk that makes you like... [ he airly waves a hand, trying to grasp the right word. ] the biggest harlot.
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he carefully catches Daichi's hand before it can smack him in the face, and that's gonna be his firm excuse about why he's holding it. )
Wow, so eloquent. You're almost as smart as me when you're drunk, huh? ( Kuroo snickers, and never mind that he's poking fun at himself here, too. ) Of course I'm a giant harlot. This is the big city; that's what it's for.
( u hick )
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daichi tries not to stare at kuroo holding his hand because really, it's totally not a big deal. just two dudes being friends. for sure. ]
I take that as an insult, you know. [ he huffs, annoyed ] If that's what the city's for, no wonder I don't live here.
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Kuroo presses his free hand over his heart and attempts to reel. it's slightly offset by the fact that he does actually start to fall and has to use his grip on this mysterious hand to right himself. what a suave guy. )
I'm so hurt! If I knew you were going to be hell-bent on breaking my heart, I would never've invited you down, you know. ( the jackal grin returns. ) Ahh-- but you'll be living here soon enough, won't you? Best get used to it sooner than later, Sawamura. You're already halfway to trollop-dom.
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There's always time to change my mind before I let you corrupt me any further you know.
[ he's talking about college, really, no double meanings or things to look deeper into as daichi still holds onto kuroo's hand. ]
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At least give corruption a try before you run away from it. Where's the harm in that~?
( yeah this is totally a conversation about tertiary education and not about dudes holding hands on couches, drunk, and badly attempting to flirt. at all. )
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Oh, Sawamura, you sweet summer child, ( he uses Daichi's own hand to pretend to wipe away these fake tears, ) don't you know how the rest of the saying goes??
( --actually, how does it go?? ah, that's right. Kuroo leans in, grinning. there are crocodiles who would be jealous of this expression. )
'Satisfaction brought it back~'
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it would be too easy to lose that look too, especially when kuroo leans in so close, grinning like he does, but daichi holds his ground. he's stared down worse.
(though to be fair, none of those things made his heart pound like this.) ]
That's pretty boastful of you to assume all that.
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this time Kuroo aims for innocent, which is such a foreign look on his face it's probably ridiculous, but still. a man must try. )
I assume nothing, merely stating the facts. Are you really getting flustered over an idiom, Sawamura?
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...Was that really all it was?
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well, if you can't kill a spike, you deflect it instead. that's how defence works - layers, complementing layers that keep the ball in play so it doesn't fall on your side of the court. he leans back; his fingers tug slightly where they're tangled with Sawamura's, ready to sweep up or give way at need. )
Why are you asking me? You started it.
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And you're the one who kept it going instead of letting it drop.
[ he searches kuroo's face for something to give him a hint, trying to figure the best place to push through. ]
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